I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
