the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
