So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
