I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
