I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
