White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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