At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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