dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
