The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
