I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
