ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
