If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
