I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
