I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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