How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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