Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
