Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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