I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
