Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
