i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
