Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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