We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Randomize
