its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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