he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
