is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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