There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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