I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
