did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
