Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
