his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
