oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
