please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
