okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
