My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
