I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
