Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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