After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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