i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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