My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
