Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
There r osticjed everywhere
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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