So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
