I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
