I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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