At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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