Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
