I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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