State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
