so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i think i have two assholes
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Randomize
