FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
