The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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