I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
