I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
